Take the bitter with the sweet n sweet with bitter!

Merry Christmas!! Or happy holiday if you're a Prez Bush fan!





Its the first anniversary of The Asian Tsunami. I join the whole world in mourning the destruction caused my mother nature. R.I.P all those who passed on 26th Dec 2004




P.S. For my Tsunami poem/song visit this

Hail Cyclone Mala

Whew!! In 10 hrs time I would've been writing my aldready postponed exam, but thanks to Cyclone Mala, lakhs of students like me are staring at a gloomy future. Exams shifted to Dec 19th due to Cyclone Fanoos are now postponed again due to Cyclone Mala. And in the 2 weeks I never touched the books for more than a cumulative avg of 10 mins.

I thank the rain gods, global warming, Prez Bush, all oil companies, car manufacturers n specifically hippies who've failed in their task of being global watchdogs.

Now, as I type, winds of 15 KMPH and intermittent rains are "lashing" Chennai. But what the heck, exams postponed...hip hip HOOOORRAAYY!!!!

On a sadder note, it may be rescheduled to Jan 2nd. Damn!!!!

A lot of stuff happening on the rap front. Yogi B of Poetic Ammo from Malaysia got in touch wid me. Yet to reply to my msg. Said he had "hella lot to talk to u".

I got in touch wid D'Lo, she's starting to be an inspiration to me. Altho I've never heard her rap, she's a Lankan Tamil Hip Hop artist/social activist.

A crew from Germany is going to record near Pondicherry. They wanted me to work wid them. So thats coming up if everything materialises.

A new Hip Hop Artist from Bangalore(i think) has shown up on download.com. Going by the name of PRX and having released a single "Bombay Dogs", this guy's got some good music. But his lyrics kinda undecipherable. Total commericial material. As soon as his album releases, I request all of u to cop it. Good. India's starting to get a Hip Hop scene, even tho its commercial, its something!! PRX is a must Listen.

Wow! I'm actually turning pro. Wonder where this shit is going to lead me into. As for now, its celebration time. No Exams atleast for next 3 days! Yippeee

Why the F?

Ok. I know this is a touchy issue to talk about. So lets talk about it. WHY DO WE HAVE CENSORSHIP?

I really dont understand "freedom" can have limitations. If India is a free country, then I'm a free guy. If I'm at fault for expressing myself, and get pushed around for that, I'm not a free guy.

A lot of "guardians" of free speech lurk around the corners of this "society" trying to malign those people who "malign" Indian culture or some crap like that. See, I was brought up in the Gen X. The kinda guys who take to Rap as much as we take to Rahman's music. Or who eat thair-sadam n also fast food. We dont care about who these "guardians" are. We like to freak out n do crazy things so we can break from the stereotyped "Indian Male". Times change, influences change, but India will remain etched in our souls. If we are true Indians n want to promote Freedom of Speech, make more people talk about it.
Matter of fact, Freedom must not have LIMITS. Thats why I strongly belive India is not a free country.
I have my own reasons
1) We still censor n edit things in public life instead of restricting the reach. Eg movies, music. what ever happened to Explicit or PA or MA in these? Total ban of a movie coz its content didnt please 5 people in a censor board??? Damn!
2)Who are we to decide who should watch or hear stuff? Ultimately, the layman like me is kinda deprived of seeing or hearing what I WILLINGLY want to.
3)Without actually taking off censorship, how can we say it affects the young people? We just shying away from removing it because we have a mental block that these things will degrade society. wateva...
4)I need not explain more after this point coz its just clear. Take Gandhi. The person who got us freedom. The same so called Freedom we have now. Ok. One of the interpretations of the three-monkey thing(thrimoorthi if i'm right) is "See no bad things, hear no bad things, talk no bad things". Who decides what is BAD? To each his own. Thats what we need. I, as a free citizen decide what I wanna say, what I wanna hear and what I wanna see. Unless that is possible, I'm not cheerful in celebrating an Indepenece Day which is supposed to mark me being LIBERATED.

Being a rap soldier, I really wanted to vent my anger on these so called "protectors of freedom". So, I've written a song called "Why the F?". I dont care if it doesnt create waves or if I make money out of it. I'm doing it coz I want to do it n dont give a shit of what ppl got to say abt it. I'm breaking barriers in Indian music with this song which has the most F word occurences. So go ahead n see the lyrics, d/l the song if u want from Illusions
Peace..

You've been Marooned

I've been seeing quite a few blogs being 'tagged' recently. As scoffes said, its a silly little game played by girls. And I schemed n schemed. Finally, I got the right plan. I'm inventing my own amazing game for guys right now. Its called "Marooned". Its the most annoying thing that is goin to hit blogsphere. Well, it goes like this. One day you wake up and suddenly find civilization has disappeared due to global warming, ice cap melting, alien invasion, earthquakes or tsunami. You find your bed on a small uninhabited island along with another person. No boats, ships, superman or any other "man", for that matter "woman" in sight. Who would that person be and list 10 things you would tell him/her?. This game is invented for guys coz I know from personal experiences that the number of realistic guys compared to girls is greater. However, thats only my view but girls are welcome to "maroon" their friends too. If you get "marooned" i.e mentioned by any of your friends in their "marooned" post by saying "If X,Y,Z are marooned, what would they do?". Simple rules. 1)You're not supposed to split your posts into paragraphs. It starts and ends as one full paragraph.2)You have to explain why you've chosen the person who gets marooned with you 3)Its only a hypothetical situation. Dont chicken out thinking this will never happen. After MJ's aquittal, Bush relection, Pitt-Aniston split, Indian cricket team rising to international standards and Arnold becoming Governor, I belive this world is doomed for 'crazy' things to happen. So go ahead and maroon as many people as you want. Let the games begin. Since I'm realistic, I'd want a girl to get marooned with me. So we may go ahead and save mankind, if u understand what I mean. Now, what I would do aprart from that, what I would tell her is 1)"You know, you're lucky you got marooned with me. If it was girl, then you'd be lesbian." Somewhat similar to something one of my idols said and I quote Navjot Singh Sidhu "If my aunt was a male, she would be my uncle". 2)"You better not crib about looking bad, you're the only hope for the world! Sheesh, stop whining". Why is it girls always bother about how they look(again only out of my narrow-minded viewpoint, majority of girls i've seen keep sayin "Shit! My hair' spoilt. oh, I'm not dressed for the occasion") 3)"I dont give a damn abt who you were, its only u n me. We dont have peeps in the middle trying to 'woo' you" I hate guys who 'woo' girls. Makes me wanna kick their balls. But girls find that charming, so as I always say "Let them be". No wonder I never fell in love till now 4)"Its upto you n me to sort this out. You try finding food, and I'll save my energy for saving the world". Yes, I feel like a King. But remember I can't rebuild the world without the queen.5)"How did you feel getting all the attention you did before the world came to this state?" I kinda recognize her n start talking to her.6)"Oh my GOD!! Thank you for getting her marooned with me". Confusing eh? 7)"We've talked a lot now, wat say we hit the bed? We have to rebuild the world remember?" Ahemmm.8)"You're so amazing, wonder would we have met unless this happened?" 'This' here refers to the world being invaded by aliens blah blah. 9)"Are you what you are or are you what you were made to be i.e a hippie, wannabe. Coz you certainly dont sound like one". But, from what I've seen, there are less girl "wannabes" than guys. 10)"You can be rest assured that I will rebuild the world. I just need you to shed the whole "think-you-a-movie-star" thing and work with me". Ok. The person who I want to get marooned with is EMMA WATSON a.k.a Hermione Granger from Harry Potter movies. I get to maroon myself with whoever I want. And after reading the most romantic, annoying to read, boring ass post of mine, I have the fortune to MAROON you. No shit! I kinda started liking this game. "If Scoffes, Magix(Curses), Aswin were marooned, what would they do?".Accept this new challenge to make you think and popluarise this "thinking game". Not one of those silly ass games. And once again I've pulled off another great scheme of mine, I love me.

Eminem Curtain Call !! Is it the END?

Two months ago, Eminem dropped a bombshell which left millions of his fans baffled. Marshall Mathers had enough. He announced he was putting an end to his MCing career after he went to rehab as a sleeping pill addict. His final solo project, Curtain Call, a compilation of his greatest hits with two "farewell" songs dropped on December 6th. This marks an end to a 10 year stint at the forefront of rap.

People compare him to 2pac Shakur by the way he connects with a mass audience. Many of the true hip hop guerillas poo-pooed this remark but stopped short of it by proclaiming him as one of the most lyrically gifted MC's of all time. True. Never has hip hop seen such a character who is at ease with his wordplay when tearing up opponents like Ja Rule/Benzino or making some of the most touching raps like "Stan","Lose Yourself" and "Mockingbird".

Fans all around the world appealed thro online forums for Slim Shady to quit playin. Thats exactly what he did. He quit playing the "Rap Game". There is stage in every person's life when somethings need more priority than others. For all these years, Marshall Mathers wanted to show the world he really doesnt give a .... He wanted to get himself, his family and his friends to a postion where they dont have to struggle to for their daily life. He wanted to tap into the white-trash audience which lost an icon after Elvis. He wanted to do what he did best. Now achieved in 10 years what no other rap star has. A worldwide fan base for his lyrical skills, being touted as one of the "Greatest MCs" of all time, he kept churing out underground tracks which ended the careers of his detractors, produced amazing music with guidance of Dr.Dre and take rap music to the average American household. He's been there, done that in the Hip Hop world of "Superstardom".

But look at the flipside. He's not been able to ressurect his marriage, partly because he wrote so many songs against his teenage-love/wife. He's not able to spend quality time with his daughter, whom he loves so much that he reads her "Harry Potter" every night. His personal life quite frankly is on the verge of collapse. So his final appeal to his fans. "LEAVE ME ALONE". I understand his intentions. The man is wanting to set things straight in his life rather than going aroung asking people to kick out Prez Bush to improve their lives.

In Curtain Call, Eminem has killed Slim Shady. Shady was the alter-ego that catapulted him to what he is now. And an emotional appeal to his fans thro "When I'm Gone" will make anyone who listens to it, burst in tears. I place it along with the best lyrically touching songs I've ever heard in any genre. "When I'm Gone" is a message to his fans not to mourn when he's gone but to cherish every time they hear his voice.

Eminem is an inspiration to the next generation of hip hop artists. He's the guy who made me sit up and listen to what he said. He's also my inspiration to dig into Hip Hop history and discover THE best lyricists like Pac, Biggie & NAS. He's the guy who showed that if you got the skill, you can make people notice you. He may be heralded as a no-good, white-trash, foul-mouthed, screwed up kid from Detroit, Michigan who bullied his way into the limelight but for a fan like me, he's the guy who changed lives. Marshall Mathers will still continue to appear on guest spots, release tracks thro his radio Shade45 and may even cut an album with D12. What he is quitting is making any more SOLO albums. But you never know! How long can he stay from the mic?

As Eminem takes a final bow to the audience who wanted him to be on stage forever, he walks into a territory not seen by him before. The softer side of him has to set his personal relationships straight. He need a timeout from the spotlight to make amends. This is a "second" chance for him to reclaim his on/off relationship with his wife. He's apparantly going to remarry her. The Legend of Eminem will live forever. The guy who changed the face of Hip Hop is walking away. And one last appeal from him is for his fans not to follow him. Go Marshall! I, as a fan, wish you success in the quest to set your life straight. Live Happyily Ever After. PEACE......

Aaru Movie Review

After watching Ghajini, I became such a big Suriya fan that I was all worked up to watch Aaru before any of my friends had seen it. With hype surrounding the film that its going to catapult him to the league of superstars, I was soooo sure I'll end up with no tickets on the first day.

It was overcast, with a drizzle off and on. I called up a couple of my buddies and thought we'll crash into Mayajaal, the only place where you can expect a sure seat on the first day if u go by 11-12 am. On the way to Mayajaal, we noticed Arardhana is also screening Aaru and thought we'll try our luck there.

It was 12 noon, no sign of any crowds which were denied a ticket to the first show, no annoying hoardings (its common for "to-be-superstars" to have cutouts which cover up the theatre), no crowd waiting for the 2nd show. Weird, assuming this guy is being touted as the next gen of tamil cinema after the Vijay-Ajith-Vikram phase.

I slowly walked up to the security guy and asked him "Will I get tickets for the next show?". He gave a sly look & suggested I bribe him to get tickets. Upon waiting for 1 hr, they opened the gates. By this time a considerable gathering had stormed the entrance. I managed to get tickets & IT was on!!

Intro scene of the movie kinda stunned me. Suriya's singing skills are like a 10 yr old boy trying his hand at an MS classic. After the initial stunt scenes, I was expecting it to be the same Vijay style masala entertainer. But its of a totally different league.

Aaru is a raw, ruthless, gory depiction of a hitman/thug in the slums of Chennai. His character reminds you of Inba of Yuva but Aaru is shown more as a anti-hero than a hero. The story is pretty guessable but the way it is told is simply amazing. Suriya's potrayal of a street thug who stands up for what he thinks is right, is one of the best of his career. Of course, there is the no-logic, wrongly placed songs, female-play-thing-love-interest charecter, 2-3 gaana(tamil rap) songs, really really bad words, comedy track of Vadivelu and the boom-boom background score stereotypes you have to bear with.

One thing that deserves mention is the direction by Hari. He seems to have done his homework on the slum life in Chennai, madras-bashai and locations for which he deserves accolades. The techno song locations are simply amazing. The stunt sequences are breath-taking. Especially the one where Aaru and a couple of goons fight in the waves of ECR beach with neck deep water. Excellent camera work in the fight sequences.

The songs of Aaru are badly placed. Just when you thought the story gets interesting, a song spoils it. The Jassie Gift, Vadivelu & Grace number "Onnu Rendu.." stands out as the only foot-tapping song alongwith the intro song by Shankar Mahadevan. There is nothing much to write home about the background score.

Some of my observations after this movie were
1)Why do gangsters/goons/dada's always travel in Omni/Sumo/Qualis/Safari/Ford Endeavour all the time. Isn't it easily noticable?
2)Why do heroines always do the 3 songs - 2 emotional love scene - 1 scene getting stuck with the villain so hero can rescue?
3)Why do I question logic in Tamil Cinema? Not of much use as Producer Saran will laugh his way to the bank with this one.

On the whole, Aaru is a cake packaged in a box of blood stains which you have to cut using an aruval (famous long knife). Its not a movie meant for' girls who love Suriya's choc-boy image' or for the 'light hearted people'. The A certification is pretty obvious after you watch the movie.

Plus : Suriya, Suriya, Suriya. One of his best performances & so different from Ghajini. And good stunt sequences.

Minuses : Trisha, too many goons/thugs as sidekicks for hero as well as villain, graphics that spoils songs

Review : Boring 1st half, Fast paced n racy 2nd half with a guessable climax. Watch it atleast once.

YUKKKK

All this while, i had a problem with my monitor. Everything went red. Lost all other colors in the tube. So the last time I had modified my layout, was not really sure how it looked. Now that I got the monitor fixed, the first time I saw the blog, I went "YUUUUKKKKKK"

So bear wid me as I toy around for the best color combination for this template.

Chennai 'Water'ed again

Ok. Thought I'll blog on the day after
1)the rain stopped and never came back till next year
2)India-SriLanka have started playing the match
3)Anna University exams took place according to schedule
4)the volcker issue stopped "rocking" the parliament
5)AIDS is declared an epidemic
6)World Disability day was "celebrated" by a bunch of social hippies
7)the suicide bombings & 'kid'napping in Iraq subsided
8)'expose scandals' were not used for selling mags
9)IIFI became an event to celebrate 'good' cinema
10)Rahul Dravid stopped talking for too much time to the press. Rahul, We like you when you dont talk much.

But, as we the people would continue to wait for that day, dreaming of India to be a great "World" power, I chose to break the silence.

All the aforementioned have acute chance of taking place in the near future. Coming to near future, why do people use that word. You know the future has to be somewhere after the present, you can never quantize that. "In the near future, I dont see change in the way the goverment works" harps one crazy hippie. You dont see change. Change only takes place when actions are performed by a so called parliament which represents the people. Perhaps the crazy hippies should go sit on a fast-till-death so they'll be heard. Arundati Roy, we need you. Help the hippies.

Coming to the floods, man!! What a year we've had. I know people cried for water, but talk about it coming through your roof. People should be more specific the next time they pray. "Oh nature, please solve our water problems. Take care you dont overwork"

India-SL match looks like its gonna head to a total washout. Chennai was not even the first choice to host the 1st mactch. The money - root of all problems. Think about the money wasted in making the cricketers stay in 5 star hotels, driving them everyday to the ground, employ so many people (tv crews, ground staff, police) to work for an event that's not even gonna take place, make fans belive they can atleast catch a glimpse of their fav cricketer and end up paying 1000rs for standing in rain, without the possibilty of a refund. Guys, you've just been f***kd in the rear. Rahul Dravid can repeat the same sentences for all 5 days.

Day 1: Its not under our control you know
Day 2: We cant control it
Day 3: These things can never be decided by us
Day 4: Its out of our scheme of things that these things happen
Day 5: Its pretty bad we couldn't do anything

Ok. You made your point. Now shut the hell up. Damn!!

Anna University needs a disaster management-exam timetable design- system. Somebody please help those jerks. No wonder Abdul Kalam was only a "Visiting" staff there.

Comin to my fav topic. Prez Bush. He's under increased pressure from the "American" people to bring back the troops. HA! Fat chance. Finish what you started. Its all the American people's fault. You voted the guy in, now shut the hell up and do what he says. God, I hate neo-cons.

IFFI just premiered some shit movies. Its become an occasion to glamourise the whole cinema thing. You got long legged babes, 50 year old-out of work- has beens- of world cinema, the whole of Indian press, throw in some food & drinks and EUREKA!! Anybody can hold an International Film Festival.

Disablity day has become a mockery to show the world how different the "differently abled" people are. I cant belive people buy that companies like ' reliance', who make money stealing India's oil reserves, really give a damn about any cause. Let alone disability day.

I'm totally sick and tired of everything happening around the country. But hey! I'm not complaining. Why?? Coz there's no use. You just have to take all the bullshit "The System" gives you. And make yourself belive you're happy. If you're not happy, then you become the rebel,anti-social, scum of this society or a wannabe-hippie. I am neither of the two. I represent the "Take it as it comes" kinda people. We have our opinions but dont really think we can give a solution. Coz its just too damn tough to solve problems that dont arise because of you.

And I end with another famous to be quote of mine "Wait and watch the clock tick, while everyone around you becomes a prick".

P.S : " You're wrong, I'm wrong, there is no right unless there is nothing left" Howzat for a crazy quote. Think I should get into philosophy.

Eminem - When I'm Gone Video Download

Ok.. I finally found a link to download the video from "Curtain Call", Eminem's Last Album FOREVER!!!. Its 32.3 WMV file. Pretty good quality ripped off TRL. I'm kinda still in a state of shock after watchin it.. almost tears tricklin down...but holding on. Things will never be the same again without Marshall Mathers holding the mic, the same hand which inspired many souls like me to take to Hip Hop & explore rhythm and poetry(rap). Hope he doesnt make a sellout comeback like Jay-Z & the rest of the shitheads.

Get the video here.....EMINEM - WHEN I'M GONE VIDEO

Date with the DOC

Before you jump to conclusions, let me clarify this 'date' was an impromptu appointment with my "family" doctor. I've found it interesting that only we Indians use the word "family" doctor. According to the unwritten dictionary of oft used indian-english words, "family doctor" is one who's been associated with treating one or more generations of your family as a general physician.

This FD(i.e Family Doctor from now on) is an interesting chap. He's totally bald, has rashes all over his head, has a gleaming smile, hasn't increased his fee for the past 15 years and can treat almost every ailment with the same set of medicines prescribed in different combinations. So, when I was down with a cold, I used his prescription which I had obtained the previous time I had the same symptoms and self-doctored myself.

Being the idiot I was, it didn't work. I didn't have a sore throat but ended up taking pills for that. 5 days of eating anti-biotics has only cleard a blocked nose. My throat has become worse, my senses of smell and taste are totally screwed up. I HAD no other option but to pay my FD a visit.

To describe his clinic is pretty easy. According to folklore, his clinic has remained the same over the past 30 years. He has a small 15 X 15 ft room for attending to his patients. A 5 X 5 ft waiting room with a seating capacity of 7 people. This doc can get pretty annoying for waiting patients as he talks a lot about the "family" of the patient he attends to. So, the season of cold,cough & fever like rite now, he may make you wait for 45 mins. For entertainment during this time, we have magazines like Outlook, The Week dating back to 1999 lying on a chair. Think his neighbours dump old books in his clinic.

After an agonizing wait, I finally got to him. He took 2 mins to check my pulse, heartbeat and general stuff like that. He took his pad, scribbeld some pills for me to take for 5 days. I doubted if he's presribing the same pills as I had taken earlier. As usual he was asking me about my family and whether I'm placed etc, etc. Once I got out of the clinic I headed to the pharmacy to check if I'm gonna be taking the same pills again.

Bingo!! 2/3 pills he prescribed, I'm aldready taking them. A new pill which he gave frekking cost 124 bucks for 5 days dosage. Damn!!! Should've gone with my dad's advice. "Always go to a doc once you get cold, cough or fever. If you go after you've done self medication, whatever medicine he gives you, its gonna cure. You're gonna end up wasting money and prolonging your illenss!"

P.S : Always go by your dad's advice on when to visit a doc, when to stop dosage n when he says "Don't drink cold drinks, this is the season of cold". If only I had listened. Sigh!!

Madras Tales - 4 - Don Raze

LOL! This track was done when I wrote a short story, an 8mile'ish story of moi going by the name of "Donnie Raze". The lyric is written in the context that it was supposed to be for a movie soundtrack where I have a disagreement with a "rap" star who has made it big by faking stories about himself. So here it goes..


p.s.. this turned out to be one of my best rap singles to date according to critics..


nVy Madras Crew
Verse 1:
yo yo Freestyling come on

mad at me coz i kept it real,
whattup dawg? got any deal?
hah! thats the best joke i've ever cracked
but u said u was on crack
i laugh at that,
coz u had ur moments, back to reality
now u snapped back n u mad at me
why dawg? i dont know why
oh wait! hold on, coz i called ur lie
i dont wanna talk, i dont wanna walk
i dont wanna chalk out a plan to be ur man
coz whatever i say i aint gonna say it
like i said before i aint gonna be a foe
but just know that way before i knew a friend
i trusted now, now busted
me no speak again. me dont give a damn,
u's a bitch, u cant be a man,
understand we playing a level gameplay
u not like me coz i'm not like u
and i aint like u, let loose can bite u
fight u? fuck i got better things to do
but i aint like u, keep running my mouth
thats what this is about,
i dont give a f**k if u got clout,
coz it aint for the dough, b keep it low,
there aint time for potshots,
u get shot with a glock bigger than ben clock
i know i've unearthed the birth of a jerk
who squirks everytime he speaks his words
now wat am i to do, wat am i to say
how i got these fake ass gangstas play
with me coz i kept it real,
real like a bottle of beer,
n i gulp it down while i search for u
i break it down to put it in u
n i bark with a hark as i see u fade
bitch know u cant fuck with raze
blaze away with the fire
in these line that spit with desire
see u dissapear in industry
see u get erased from history


Click here to download "Don Raze"

Madras Tales - 3 - No Rap Game

This is a track I wrote after getting sick of the SYSTEM & the wannabe's. Both of 'em arent worth shit.

Verse 1:
my musics gonna hypnotize, a whole country traumatized
with religion and poverty, communist hypocrisy,
the whole dman shit's botherin me
am i the only one talkin sense,
when govt spends so much for defence,
they gonna run out of ammo in the next war,
so they took my taxes and bought some mortars,
and i pay for every mine that they plant,
while people get blown away, even infants,
half of india is under 25,
i dont give a shit,i wanna live my life
we dont live in the gandhian era anymore,
we forgot who was subash chandra bose
history judged people too fast,
after 55 years, we still kissin ass

Chorus:
its a shame, a billion people no rap game,
talented musicians leaving people in awe,
but not a bold lyricist, so here i am,
using these words to fight, stay tight, i'll surely bite

Verse 2:
indian rap aint goin nowhere,
but we got a bunch of wannabe's in the air,
tryin to mock the gangsta shit,
all they do is talk, but not one hit
2020 is the year i'm waitin for,
jus like any other 20 year old,
but i'll be double my age, maybe on the front page
when we become a super power, i'll send u flowers
coz i'll be the only one left in the game,
all the others in the grave was so lame,
while i juggle two things allrite,
engineer the day with rap at nite , i still bite
i'm not new to being singled out
thats why i belive in talent, and not influential clout,
when i walk away i want people to remember,
that free will is something that i will not surrender

Chorus 1x

Click here to download "No Rap Game"

Madras Tales - 2 - Who is Navin Varma?

Lyrics
Intro:
Deiii...dont play around with my beats man..daaiiii
Yo Yo! Yo Yo yo Yo Yo! Chk it out

Verse 1:
Now I got the whole world askin me
who is the Navin I really want to see
well I really dont know who i am
a mallu a tamil or an english man
but there's one thing I can say
he once called himself "donnie raze"
coz he blazed the stage of the game with a name
that wasn't really the same again
so this is the real me now u see
but people still call me nVy
coz they know i'm for sure man
I'm as real as anyone u know man
if I dont sell, I ask for dharma
but I'll keep writin I'm Navin Varma

Chorus:
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naaww?(echo)
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naaaaaaaw?
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naaaw?
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naawhh?

(laughing)
Yo Yo Check it out man.. I want you to do this lyrics..take it off..
Say "Welcome Chennai" with me..

Bridge:
Welcome Chennai to the hip hop sound
Welcome Chennai we're all around
Welcome Chennai the new rap town
Welcome Chennai lets get it on

Welcome Chennai to the hip hop beat
Welcome Chennai lets hit the streets
Welcome Chennai the new rap town
Welcome Chennai lets get it on


Ha ha ha ha!!

Verse 2:
At first, I aint really know how to rap
Saw Eminem jumped and did a track
gangsta wasn't my kinda s**t
so i split n did my own hit
was "welcome chennai" my city
while I studied outlandish with 'gritty'
thought of a rap name to call myself
I killed nVy n brought myself
as "donnie raze" the next big thing
like makaveli s**t, it didn't really ring
the cash registers with loads of money
but I'm keeping it real now..kiss me honey

Chorus:
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naaww?(echo)
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naaaaaaaw?
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naaaw?
Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy, Who's your Daddy naawhh?


Outro:
F**k around with me..F**k around with me
and u will see the real MC tear u to pieces
piece by piece u will breathe till u be deceased

yeah go go Chennai yeah..
Chorus(background)
punk ass mothaf***r...die, hippie die

Download the"Who is Navin Varma?" here

Madras Tales - 1- Plan of Action

Lyrics
Intro:
its been a long time, since 2001
when I dropped my first rhyme
same world, same city, same game
everyday I'm fighting to save my name
save my grace, its taken to a new level now
I'm gonna spit some ill shit,
dont think i'm legit, when u say my name
Chennai's never gonna be the same again

Yeah..no fear man.. n I got it locked
come on..make the music stop!!

Verse 1:
its been 5 years, no thrills, no cheers
I've come to the stage with no fear, no tears
n i forsake fights with my peers
who got no idea wats written on their foreheads
I been stupid before
made mistakes now i know for sure
that I've grown beyond it
so i dont do them anymore
now my life's stess free
I got da knowledge to see
how i can trust enemies
n I dont have that many
trust me, i've seen it all from empty crowds
to booing mobs to total freak outs
I've been around madras city
doin shows to get publicity
ai! it aint goin nowhere
now I don care coz I'm still out dere
and I know one day dat I'll shine,
when girls come up n say "I want u to be mine"
all the fortune fame n superstardom
is not gonna count when I leave this world
so I'd rather live life for watever its worth
I keep sayin rap is my passion,
but we underground cats need a plan of action
so dj's take the cd n put it on ur playlist
coz I dont do this for money, those cats on gay shit

Outro:
Chennai city rock this motha****r down..move that ass girl

Download "Plan of Action" here

Madras Tales Release

Ok. After 5 years into the rap game, I'm finally coming out of the underground rap scene. For those who've seen me on download.com as India's first rap artist "nVy" n supported me through the underground time, a big THANK U for gettin me to the #9 position on the India Charts. Although, I'm getting out of the den in 2005 rather than 2010. Also a big shoutout to my ex "Gangsta Rap - Dred Nox" bandmates Varun, Joseph, Joel & Dhanush. For my friends who've seen me emerge from "Yeah, he's a rapper" to "Shit! U rock uhhh rap", another big THANK U, epecially ones who egged me on to pursue rap.

When I first started writing, I thought it would be just another thing I start-stopped. Even though I've gone thro lot of tough times over the years, Rap's been the only saving grace in my otherwise boring life. Representing Chennai gives me great pride and its gonna be Chennai for life.

Releasing a compilation commercially n going after the money isnt what I got into hip hop for. So without further adue, I bring to you, the tales from a city once called "Madras"..

Every post I'll include the lyrics and link for the mp3 file. Keep checkin every week for song updates.

My Experiments with Environmental Science

Ok!! I've finally finshed giving the most annoying subject I've ever come across. Its "Principles of Environmental Science & Engineering". So that brings the tally of completed exams to 2.

Studying for this paper was such a pain. In my whole lifetime I've never sat in a chair for 4 hours and crammed till my brains were about to blow. All this because a bunch of my seniors scared me saying "Watch out Man!! That subject can prove to be tricky". And before writing the exam, something struck me. The paper is going to be corrected by some guy who would've paid for cheating his way into getting his degree. All he is going to glance thro my whole paper for 5 mins and fill up anything between 2-16 in each column.

So, I made up my mind. "The guy who is gonna correct this is not going to know bullshit. So why dont I slip in some abuses and give him a piece of my mind?"("Guy" here can be male/female but going by popular opinion and cliche most of the examiners are out of work post graduates calling themselves "lecturers"). My nasty mind got into work as soon as the exam started. Altho I had to write atleast a few lines related to the subject, I was working on the crap I can slip in. I've recollected the exact text from whatever I had written for a few questions which I jotted down in my question paper before turning the paper in. So here it goes.

Tactic #1 : "Causes for pollution : The causes for degradation of environment is enumerated by a total breakdown of law, order & socioecomic disorder. This is clearly highlighted by the permutations & combination followed by the mutation of biodegradable organic matter found in the earth's surface"

Marks : Probably a 2 on 2 coz it totally confuses the examiner & gives him an impression I know everything. Bingo!! Give them what they need & they'll just eat it. Even if its bullshit.

Tactic #2 : "Latent Heat : A factor U is called as latent heat of water given in the theory by Dr.Assojack."

Marks : No comments. Will be surprised if I get any coz I totally missed the point. But what the hell, this is Anna University.

Note : Notice the clever use of variables to basically imply that the examiner is a jackass if he gives me any mark for this.

Tactic #3 : "Give 4 protocols : Accodring to the Industrial Pollution Act, 1396, industries freeing effluents need be acted up on by the crack cane whipping technique specialising in the "polluter pays" principle."

Note : 1396 says it all. Wonder if industries existed then.

Tactic #4 : "Specific Heat : Its with a force F coupled with U acting on Consumers with K+ ions found in Unary organism in the biosphere"

Note : it deciphers to F**K + U

Phew!! Now just gotta wait and find out how much I get. My estimation is anywhere between 60-70 on 80. How come??????? Two words....

Anna University!!

Aaru Music Review

Aaru is a movie coming out with a lot of expectations. After the blockbuster Ghajini, people expect Suriya to become the next star in the race for "Superstar" staus. From the music of Aaru, you can pretty much understand that this is a forumula-masala movie which rides on Suriya's new found stardom tag.

Coming to the music of Devi Sri Prasad, there's hardly anything new about this album. Reminds you of Maayavi & Sachein in parts. But on the whole, its pretty average.

"Soda Bottle" by Shankar Mahadevan & Saaki Mukesh is a typical gaana song about the protagonist, a good goon called Aarumugam from Adyar. A foot tapping Koothu number. Reminds you of Simbu's early day kutthu songs.


"Paakathae" by Tippu & Sumangali is a melodious track reminding you of Kaadhal Valrthaen from Manmadan. Nice song which may turn out to be a sleeper hit. Gets better on repeated hearing. Watch out for the guitaring.

"Freeya Vudu" by Jassie Gift, Vadivelu & Co is by far the most masala oriented song of the movie. With Jassie Gift stealing the show as usual with his unusual voice, making mockery of the tamil word, "Vaenan Da" as "Onnaann da" makes you laugh for a till you realise the song is over. Vadivelu does a cameo but seems to have missed the beat as well as voice to sing. Shades of Pushpavan Kuppusamy come but he's not credited.

"Thottutae" by Karthik & Sunitha Sarathy is a techno song. Has the feel of the "Aa Aaa" techno songs but is out of tune & by the far the most boring song of the album. Repeated beats, poor lyrics render the talented voices useless.

"Dhrogam" by Hariharan does justice to his voice. But the choir is kind of annoying & lost the pitch totally. The song may go well with the situation on screen but as such is pretty average. Only plus for the song is Hariharan & the use of "Chendai" insrument in a techno type song.

"Nenjam Ennum" by Srinivas & Kalapana is another melodious number with a kutthu background. Stange way to fuse a foot tapping background with melodious singing. A so called rapper (think its Premji of Sullan fame) comes into an interlude making you wonder if they really trying to sell Hip Hop with a gaana effect. Reminds you of "Kannaum Kannum" from Thirupacchi. Pretty good song on repeated listening. But gives you the feeling you've heard it somewhere before.

On the whole, Aaru will delight Suriya Fans. His female fan base will feel let down with no romantic number to speak high of. Its a very average score when compared to Suriya's best like "Kaakha Kaakha" or "Ghajini". Its just a remixed "Maayavi".

Rating : 6/10


Pssstt...the word on the street is you can get the mp3 at http://www.tamilbeat.com
I only tell ya what the streets is talkin. Check it out yourselves if you wanna see if the streets is true.

Elections 2005 : Results

Lalu Prasad Yadav has been dethroned after 15 year rule. The NDA has won. Its a huge saffron wave across bihar. Click here for info on that.

Nitish Kumar is the new Chief Minister of Bihar. He seems to be a very humble man. They even showed his family on NDTV. Very simple unassuming family. Hope everything works out well for Bihar. Click here for info on Nitish's press conference.

The Congress got s**t rubbed in its face. They call it a "vote for change". Just like when the BJP called the national elections in 04 the same way.

Priya Dutt won the Mumbai North West seat. Her dad Sunil Dutt was holding this seat for the past 6 elections. It'll be interesting to see if she gets into the Union cabinet immediately. Or will she be another of those missed-my-boat politicians?

Shiv Sena's getting its ass kicked. With Bal Thackrey calling it quits, Narayan Rane seems to have consolidated his stand as an alternate to the Maratha Supremo. Interesting verdict here too.

LDF wins in Trivandrum. Rather retains its seat. No prizes for predicting this one!

Thats about the election 05 for now. Next Election to watch out for is going to be fought on the Home Front. TAMIL NADU 2006, is going to be one hell of a fireworks display.

Website Up & Running!!!!!

My new website is up and running. Although I found an amazing host, the domain name costs atleast 200 bucks. Have to write a check n all crap. For a personal website, this one's pretty ok. Its a pretty ordinary site designed to release my rap songs. If you don't know by now, I'm a Hip Hop artist.

Anyways, check out the link on the right side of this blog. I've also added a picture gallery n other personal stuff.
Coming up: How to exterminate hippies!
Eminem Influence

Judgement Day approaching for Bush

As the count of suicide bomb incidents in Iraq is catching up with the number of casualities of American Troops, President George W. Bush is at the crossroads of his political career. Everyday there are multiple suicide attacks aimed at the coalition forces of Iraqis seen as supporting them.

A lot of people are saying "Bring the troops back home","Disengage in Iraq and let them rule themselves". My question is "HOW?". These are people who didn't have a democractic leader for the past 30 years. An entire generation hasn't seen the likes of freedom. There is no organized Media, Press to report the situation properly. Whatever is being touted as "Iraqi media or press" is nothing but exiles chosen and installed to show a bias towards the administration. And we have the spinsters like CNN & BBC who take extreme pleasure in either tearing the Prez apart or suck up to him.

Coming back to plans of withdrawal, that is NOT a solution. You put your hands into s**t, now you can't just take it out and walk away. The Bush adminstration made the grave mistake of not going in without planning an exit strategy. Whatever exit strategy they adopt from now on, there ARE going to be more American & Iraqi casualities. I don't think the terrorists reducing their frequency of bombings if Bush keeps hitting them back with all the air power or missles.

What went wrong was the complete pounding of Iraq in the quest for the search of 1 man. Even he's not safe as people are after his blood. Saddam must be grinning right now. He will be happy Americans are into s**t but fearing every second when a bomb laden car will crash into his jail cell. So much for his years of flaunting his lavish lifestlye. He's become just another bum in jail.

As the body bags keep returning to America and women, childen & innocent men keep dying, all Prez Bush can do is switch on CNN at his vacation spot, sip on some wine and watch the vicious circle he helped unfold. Iraq may or may not be a Vietnam. But it sure looks like its getting there. Bush's moment of truth may have just arrived. Its a pity that we the people of the world have to watch him happlessly handle something he's not capable of handling (he couldn't even manage Afghanistan when he jumped to Iraq. Where's OSAMA?). Or are we going to see the Prez Bush we saw after 9/11, while standing with the people of New York saying "They are going to hear from us". Simple Mr.Bush. The terrorists dont give a s**t about you or anyone in this world. They seemed to be licensed to kill just like any army in the world. Sad, the enemy here doesn't even have a face. I repeat, WHERE'S OSAMA?

Story of "All on eyez this"

When I first made a post "All on eyez this", people were like "Dude. Isn't is All eyez on this?". Nobody saw the bigger picture. See people who add "spin" literally change the substance and style of a certain news item to change your opinion or atleast make an attempt at changing your opinion. So to all you fellow spinsters who like doing different things differently, I present to you some stuff I came across which can be categorized between "interesting" and "weird".

A weird theory page where they say the sky is a scrambled egg and the sun is the yolk. I know its all bullshit probably written by some out of work 20 year old. Damn!! The extents people go to when they want to "spin" science. Check it out.

Speaking of out of work 20 year olds, there is this guy who's started his own religion. See..to cut a long story short, we all know about Darwin's Natural Selection theory. Bush is trying to bring a new science subject to 9th graders called "Intelligent Design" to be taught along with Darwin's theory. This ID thing basically proposes "external" control a.k.a GOD.

To counter this, a 24 yr old guy called Bobby Henderson proposed the Flying Spaghetti Monster as a mark of protest. He is a self proclaimed prohet who had an encouter with a Flying Spaghetti n was touched by his "noodly appendage". Totally hilarious take on mocking the whole agenda of Bush & Religion. P.S. If you follow FSM then, in heaven you can find beer volcanoes and strip clubs, the increase in global temperature is due to decrease in number of pirates, this religion is also called "Pastafarirism". Dont miss this read. Too funny.

"Bush and Blair will lick your boots". Hafiz Abdur Rehman Makki is a hardcore islamic propaganda machine in Pakistan supporting them terrorists in the name of "Jihad". I quote "You are saying that the earthquake has occurred because the plates beneath the earth have dislocated. Oh foolish scientists, don't you know that the plates could have never moved without Allah's order?". Need I say more. Check out the saber rattling. His sermons attract lots of people on Fridays it seems. Bunch of lame d**ks who can't think for themselves.

Ihateganguly. This site offers a hate forum to vent your anger. What a bunch of jobless people to actually spend money to buy a domain name. And even more jobless people to post in this shit. But some of the jokes are hilarious.

People magazine has named its "sexiest men alive" list. #1 is Mathew McConaughey of "Sahara" fame. Comparing to the first list which had Mel Gibson as the sexiest man alive, People has again proved to be the industry d**k sucker.

Thats it for now folks, but watch this space. More "All on eyez this" posts now n then.

Moral Policing, Bush and Goverment bashing

Upon request to start posting lyrics and links of songs I've recorded, I gave it careful thought thinking about copyright issues n stuff like that. But what the heck, I'm not some major artist or something. But "a lot of truth is said in jest". So here's my latest offerering called "F the Free World"

Follow this link to hear uncensored version of the song. And below you can find the censored lyrics.(Bad quality .rm file for now..will load mp3 soon)

"F the Free World"

Chorus:

F**k the free world I'm going crazy
Cant do anything coz I'm too lazy
Freedom is something that god gave me
Moral police kissed my a$$? Maybe
Fuck the free world I'm kicking some knowledge
to all those who want a new role model
coz this is the true facts,
s**t is serious not somethin to laugh at

Verse:

what kind of a world do we live where we can't party
dont think I'm a jackass to go n sip bacardi
I'm a spectator to all the s**t people sayin
and they think I'll spectate until they win
no I wont standby and just watch,
all you crazy people fighting for primetime spot,
thse 3 minutes is what is my primetime,
where I'm gonna kick some knowledge from the front line

see the kids turn 16 and become wannabes
and they only place they can go crazy is a party
so wen guys wanna chill they hit the discs
dance drink n probably watch some chicks
and girls like to dance so they come too
n probably run in to a guy they then do it to,
middle of all this are the couples who want space,
coz the moral police is everywhere except this place,

when the press gets to know this they snap them pics,
n splash it across the front page to get more hits,
when people see the bulls**t they say this is madras?
you damn right it is, is it the gandhian era?
but we only narrowing our minds to something new
see as time changes , people change too
what we can do is just ignore this thing
is sleaze something new to hit the public again?

it happens in the daylight, happens in the limelight,
but oh! Its taboo if it hits our life,
so all the people shouting this is someting new,
jus shut up n work, let the kids do wat they do,
they'll learn it when its time,
maybe when they get AIDS they'll start to realise,
they wasted all of it partying all their lives,
now they dont have much left so lets all stop,

and the moral police, f**k them too,
bunch of 19th century dudes in this millinieum
dont know society is changing as young ones are born.
half of India is under 24 years old,
more babies are born as I write this score,
people narrow minded must make it broad,
else your kids will walk out, dont say I didn't warn

talkin about the world, yeah we at war,
but who are we fighting I'm not sure,
sayin islamic terrorists, isnt that a racist
people keep sayin that without even facing,
coz bush hynotized n everyone embraced him
and one day, Indo-American war will rise,
and China will be on our side, n so will the world
bush's succesor will walk a tightrope ,

2020 china a superpower,
India riding under its shadow man
India will never be a superpower man,
when half of its population is under poverty line,
they need jobs n shelter n food to survive,
not computers n electronics Mr.Vajpayee.
and I dont see any change in the new goverment,
they just picking up from where the BJP left,

talkin of the left, f**k the communists too,
they're part of the 19th century dudes,
talkin about home, I'll stear clear,
coz JJ may jail me like she did the seer,
the parties look like they'll keep on fighting,
after everyone of their leaders keep dying.
but the people will still keep buying
all the bulls**t fed to them, I'm not lying,

and the IT industry is looking kinda good,
bringing cheers to a lotta neighbourhoods,
but the fact of the matter still remains,
we just slaves of world, nothing's changed.
when we gonna stand up n fight like Gandhi?
when we got bollywood potrayin a guy like bunty,
the people of India are following fads,
things that dont last long n memories lapse,

but it is a true fact that we didnt act,
and voted leaders who's purse's aint intact,
coz every guy who has money becomes a leader,
and only few make it like APJ's career,
all these prophecies will come true one day,
it will impact our society in more than one way,
but hey, if u belive in following me,
then follow my lead and say...

Chorus(1x)

Exams just 2 days away. Still haven't started studying. Looks like its gonna be the midnight cram as usual. Peace......

Navin Varma the Hip Hop Artist

After being reffered to as a rapper by several individuals, its time I made my postion clear on this. I AM NOT A RAPPER!!! I'd prefer to be called a Rap or Hip-Hop artist. Reference as a rapper genrally creates a an impression that
1.I do drugs
2.I glorify violence
3.I dont give a damn about society and socialising
4.I dont really care about life
5.I'm always behind money and women
6.I treat women like s**t
7.I've been raised as a thug
8.Always quarrel & get into physical fights

Can't think of any more to add to that list. However, I am NONE of the aforementioned. As a Rap artist I wish to pursue the intricacy with which you get to play with words, make them rhyme, sound funny and at the same time make people think about the issues I'm talking about.

I am born into a loving family who provided me with everything I needed. Working my ass off through School and College to securing my future with a good job in the IT industry. And I developed enough skills to get where I am now. So to all those who criticise the rap artists, get a life. These guys had a hard childhood from a harsh neighbourhood and dont have many options. They either hustle their way from the streets selling drugs or they hustle their way into the Hip Hop INDUSTRY. Some artists keep it REAL and do what they gotta do in their life but turn to rap to seek refuge from all the crazy things happening around them in an ever so crazy world. The latter category fo Rap Artists is where I fall in.

So for all those saying, "Hey, meet Navin Varma. He's a rapper" thinking its hip to know a rap artist, you are wrong. And for those who think they're cool always and hate it when someone of higher CQ (cool quotient) comes across (implying moi), I got 3 words for you.

"SCREW YOU HIPPIE"

All on eyez this

Abu Salem admits he was behind Bombay blasts - how convinient. when you know you not going to die, why should he lie. so it makes it easier for him now that we extradited him on conditions. no death penalty. maximum of 25yrs of life which ever comes first. with his money n guns he'll get out legally in about 5 yrs. down with CBI!! down with the Govt. this country is going to dogs.

Narasimha was shown on KTV today. For those who dont know who Vijaykanth is, there is an amazing write-up by Vinod on him.. read up n laugh ur ass off.

Boy band "B5" incites girl frenzy - bloody boy bands are responsible for girls aged 16-20 going insane. To counter this, we should BAN "Boy bands" which have members with age less than 18.

Weird Science. Nice website about how fool' experiments n all weird research is carried out. I ran a weird science search on google and this came up. Its ACTUALLY a scientist n his research. DAMN!!

50 Cent is back in the Hood!! Pics from mtv on how he went to the hood n found out it hasn't changed much. I gotta show some love atleast. I USED to like him.. anyways, interesting read.

After listening to an awesome song called "Spun" by bay area band, Flipsyde, I wanted to find more of their stuff. Unfortunately, not much of their work is online(not incl p2p). So after much search, I found this video stream of their video "Someday". This band sound' are totally a new kind of rap/rock. Watch out for them!!!

This is Dr.nVy signing off..will keep giving updates on more "All eyez on this" posts.

"Get Real or Get Lost"

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS A LONNNGGG TIME...THE MASSACRE OF 50 CENT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. NOTE THIS DAY. IT MARKS THE DOWN FALL OF CURTIS "50 CENT" JACKSON.



When this came out, the whole world was up in arms against the so called "violent" Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson. "Get Rich or Die Trying" released two days ago and the reviews tell the story the whole rap world's been saying all this while...

As Jadakiss said

"Yeah, you got a felony, but you ain't a predicate
Never the King of New York, you live in Connecticut
This is a true fact
Since when has it become cool to get shot and not shoot back
And I don't got a problem with clout
You ain't get shot again yet, so what's your second album about?
Your raps are pre-school, you made a lot of money, now be cool
'Fore I swell up your lips like seafood
Can I get a mic check? You don't stand a chance
To dance with me dog, ya steps ain't right yet
The block is just fine, the D's straight
Most likely your new CD is a weed plate
Bunch of love songs, 100% pure garbage
Just somethin' to break up buds on
You should just sell clothes and sneakers
Cause outta your whole camp your flow's the weakest
It'll take a lifetime to see 'Kiss
You had to get shot 9 times to be rich"


Here's how a review by Bill White for Seattle Pi reads :

All bets are off for Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, whose film debut should get him laughed out of show business. Based on his own trumped-up autobiography, "Get Rich or Die Tryin' " is a disaster on all levels.

The greatest liability is Jackson himself, whose face is as inexpressive as his mumbled lines. The script, hobbling from one narrative inconsistency to the next, runs a close second. Together with cinematographer Declan Quinn, Irish director Jim Sheridan has created an imitation of black urban life that is even less credible than Jackson's poetic gifts.

The story begins with a botched robbery that is followed by, though not connected to, the shooting of gang leader Marcus (Curtis Jackson). As he lies bleeding in the street, his life flashes back across the screen. It is the standard rap sheet: no father, mother deals drugs to feed family, she is murdered, he takes over the family business, discovers his inner soul in prison, and, when trying to break gangsta ties to become a rapper, is threatened by former colleagues.

The cliches are piled on, and when the story catches up to its opening, it is with boredom and despair that we learn Marcus has survived the nine bullets, and another half hour must pass before the movie ends.

The supporting characters are less than stereotypes. Bama (Terrence Howard) is introduced as a trigger-happy killer but turns out to be the good guy. One of the movie's most ludicrous scenes has him saving Marcus' life during a pretentiously posed shower scene in which assailants and victims slip around on soap while knives flash in the steam.

As drug kingpin Levar, Bill Duke is trapped in an execrable Brando / "Godfather" imitation, and the costume department only managed to come up with one wig for Viola Davis to wear throughout her 20-year term as Marcus' grandma.

Even the soundtrack lacks flavor. 50 Cent is as dull in the studio as Curtis Jackson is on the screen. If rap is going to survive, there is some weeding out to be done.

My advice to Mr. Jackson: "Get Real or Get Lost."

Sue my way to Superstardom!!

Recently I came across an interesting news story. A man sued a Furniture Store because coz he got glued to the toilet when he used their restroom. MAN!!! Then it struck me. The whole Indian Penal System sucks when it comes to suing other people. I got this brainwave where I will start suing companies which will shut me up for the negative press.

Now, coming to the list of people. The first one which comes to my mind is Microsoft. I use a perfectly illegal copy of Windows. But exactly before my exams , it crashes and I end up reinstalling the whole thing. So I waste a lot of productive time I could have otherwise used to study. On counts of "bad quality","obstruction of work", I'll sue those b******s. Windows must be made 100% crash proof or taken off the shelf.

Second on my list would be news channels like NDTV & Headlines Today. Every news story that they come up with is classified as "breaking news". Even when a report of a donkey born with 4 heads is shown, its called "breaking news"..

"Yes Vikram....I'm completely amazed that a donkey has been successfully born with 4 heads. It looks very awkward and is attracting a lot of people to Periyapatti. The entire village is shocked...They have never seen this before"

Of course the Indian public idiots watch such trash. Only numbskulls like the reporter will go all the way to capture this on camera. Who cares if a donkey with 4 heads or 4 d... eh..ok..bottomline WE DONT CALL THIS S**T BREAKING NEWS. And other news like when somebody is greiving the loss of a loved one, they put a mic in their face and ask them "How do u feel?" What kind of a f***ing answer do they expect? "I'm feeling great."? I'm gonna sue them on account of "anxiety attacks due to graphic images shown","instilling fear by showing blood and gore in the name of journalism while covering bomb attacks". No more blood on News Channels. Period. Leave that to the movies.

Next on the list of people to sue. Anna University. I've been thro close to four years of their "Bachelor of Engineering : Computer Science". I have not acquired any skills to call myself an engineer. I haven't been allowed to engineer anything. All my money was put into financing the Alcohol expenses of my college chairman. I am not suing the college coz I feel happy they've just they not curbed my freedom unlike Sathyabama. As some professor idiot on TV says "Its all about the system". So Anna University, coz of u, I have become a worthless engineer. On counts of "institutional breakdown","rampant malpractice","no research or engineering work encouraged" and "bad quality of education" I will be a richer man.

Other people on the list include:
1) Hutch - poor quality of signal in my loo. can't send msges while eh...lets skip that. just poor quality of signal.
2) BSNL - a$$*0Ies told me its 2-8am free downloads. I get charged if I connect before 2 and go on. I have to disconnect after 2 and reconnect for it to be free
3) ITC India - they own 87% of tobacco products in India. Yet they sell cigis at different rates. They must streamline cigis and bring them to same rate. No more discrimination
4) Indian Penal Code - bcoz the number of cases I file will reach a judgement 50 years from now. So If I sue them, there will be lots of public interest and within a year, I'll be a richer man.

Bottomline, I'M GONNA BE RICH..............AND FAMOUS

MALLU THEORY

"Being a native of Cochin, brought up with a feeling that Kottayam is my home" would have been a good first liner to my autobiography if I HAD lived in Kerala from birth. But I gotta rephrase it as "Being born & brought up in Chennai, often thinking of Kottayam as home and going on to find out my roots were in Cochin was one major bummer".

Ah!! The great pleasure I have in making fun of the sakhavu (conrade) from my native. Ironically, I've come to a weird conclusion. Mallus are the best people in this earth. There is no other community more diverse than us poor souls. Contrary to my initial judgement about mallus, they are actually pretty nice people. (I'm talkin from a third person' view coz I dont have the heart of being a mallu or of a tamil or....I'm of the 'lost identity' tribe)

Mallus are generally nicer to their fellow human beings outside the state of Kerala than in the nativeland. The soul representatives of Mallus all over the world are the "Chai Shops" or the "Juice Shops". Every street in every city in every state will have a chai or juice shop run by mallus. They also sell tobacco products, all kinds of things to munch and authentic Kerala masala tea. I have the privilege of frequenting two such shops in my 'hood. They are really sweet people who allow me to keep account a.k.a credit. I don't need to cough up cash every time I make a visit. I can 'clear' the 'account' when it reaches 'dangerous' levels a.k.a Rs.100,200,300 and so on..

Today night I took a stroll on the beach. I was desperately looking for a pack of stubs. I went to my favorite haunt, JP. It was closed. I went to the next chai shop(run by non-mallus) which I occasionaly go to. I told the guy "I'll pay you first thing in the morning coz I forgot my wallet now". I was humiliated by the guy and sent off with an angry stare. Fortunately, I bumped into my buddies from JP. Even though their shop was closed, he got me a pack of stubs from a shop nearby. He enquired how my diwali went, what I did and all.. After chatting with him for sometime, I realised how proud I am of being a mallu.

So I came back home a happy man. Proud of my mallu roots. Happy that I found a mallu juice shop. Happy on having mallu friends in what I call my hometown, Madras. My theory on why you should and shouldn't be a mallu reads:

Why You Should Be A MALLU:
1) Will have contacts all over the world from San Francisco to Sydney
2) Can keep accounts at any shop run by a Mallu
3) Flaunt or Practice your Malayalam Speaking Skills
4) Share a theri (abusive lang) with your friends in public and have bystanders joining the fun.
5) Get invites to Sadhyas (feast) on every occasion. From marriages or house warming
6) Using N number of permutations and combinations of the above 5 which can be applied in many practical circumstances.

Why You Shouldn't Be A MALLU:
1) Every 2nd person you meet may come up and say "AAhhhh! Enthekke Unda Visesham?!" (Yo! Wats up man?)
2) You'll get arrogant and 'pissin off' answers.
Eg."When's the next bus?" "Go ask those guys in the bus terminus. I got better things to do"
3) You'll have a family function to attend every alternate day.
4) You'll get stuck in a stampede trying to get a seat in a marriage sadhya. Its worse than the theatres..
5) You'll have to remeber the nicknames of a million people.
Eg. Rajan will be called Unni. Soman will also be called Unni. Plus some 100 relatives with the same nickname. If thats not enough, no one cares to update you on the official name of the guy.
6) Using N number of permutations and combinations of the above 5 which can be applied in many practical circumstances.


"Adutha post malaylathil ezhudhan korre paadu padandirikkum"

"And it rained......"

Yessssssssss.... I've waited for a good monsoon since 96. Think Parikrama wrote their song "And it rained....." having Madras is mind. But in 48 hrs time pooofff!! No floods in most parts. No rains. Nothing. So we guys just have to sit and romance the memorable pics.. sigh!! How I wish the sun never came out!!

Like that crappy mallu movie which I vaguely remember, I sat looking out my window trying to sing in Jassi Gift's gifted voice, "Rain Rain Come Again"........

So cheers to the rain gods. Hope to see you more often.

The pic depicts what we needed for a long time. Rains to fillup a whole subway and submerge the railway track over the bridge. Man!! Can't belive this is Madras.

My 10 Day Diary - II

and the ramblings from my diary continue......

Note: Read My ten day Diary I

Feb 22, 2002
"Dear Diary,
This was one of the best days of my life. As usual, I wasted my time in the morning sifting through the pics on my comp. As I started from home by 4, I awaited the final moment of my school life. If two years of schooling in Anna Univ campus was fun, the finale ended with a bang. The farewell was not as emotional as P spoke abt. Afterall I was going to be a free bird. But just the sight of those chicks in saree. "Where were the sarees till now?" was the first thing that crossed my mind. But the sight of the twins revealing 50% of themselves had all the guys with their mouth open. I saw S for one last time and man was she stunning. H & R were fabulous too. Anyways, I'll cherish and remember these two years and have the pics of the chicks to revive me when I'm down. Just wonder if I am destined to be such a prick."

Feb 23,2002
"Dear Diary,
Today was the day I started studying. ONly few days left for the exams. I got the photos of the farewell. Some were ok some were bad. I looked awful in most of them. Thinking about my weight, I really dont care. I want people to see me for who I am and not how I look. I really have no clue as to where I'm going. Dont know where life's going to lead me to."


Feb 24,2002
"Dear Diary,
Its been another bullshit day for me. I've tried cramming and it never works. Hope some miracle happens and in a weeks time I can learn everything from scratch. Hmmm. Funny that rock stars get to spit out their minds on radio! When will a common guy like me get to do so?"

Feb 25,2002
"Dear Diary,
As on everyday, I was browsing early morning pretending to be studying. Watched TV after that till 3. Why do I get distracted so easily? Is it the wicked side of me or just some kinda complex that I'm not able to do what I want to. Being forced to study and cram. Why am I being such a rebel? Guess I'm not good enough to fit in this f***ing society where formalities and commitments form the basis of human relationship. Started getting dreams of S from a fantasy I read on the net. When my mind is taken into a rat's body, I think I'll turn into the rat who's the sex maniac. But that wont happen. Funny that T , R & co are such s**ts."

Feb 26,2002
"Dear Diary,
Today was the day of soul searching after I learnt that I had performed the worst among the friends. Getting 95 on 150 without studying wasn't a big deal. Anyways, one day I'll be famous. Maybe a pop star or movie actor or maybe a software, net hacker or a businesman. Hope studies and marks in school and college dont form the criteria of success in life. I'll be a loser then. I'm even thinking of becoming a journalist. At this rate, I may end up in tihar jail on charges of fraud or robbery or copyright infringement."

Feb 27, 2002
"Dear Diary,
The damned VHP must be shot down like them nazis. Can't they cherish the fact that we are a secular country? I wanna stay out of all this shit and enjoy life. I was listening to eminem again today. He can never be compared with anyone rite now. Started getting serious on the studies front. I hope I perform well in the main subjects. Dont know why I'm not determined enough. Kept getting S back on my mind. Man!! What a pair! Dont know where my dream girl will be."

Feb 28,2002
"Dear Diary,
Just two days to go before I get my ass kicked bigtime. This is the most unprepared moment of my entire life. I should not have wasted so much time on porn and tv. Now only two days left. Can't belive even VK is getting better marks than me. Well if only I was as hardworking as him. Hope I can maintain a check on my waistline. Gonna be a major problem otherwise. I've almost decided. Its gonna be the movies for me. My future lies somewhere on the big screen. Not been able to listen to eminem because of constant irritation from my parents to study. S keeps coming in her bikini and before I blink, poof! She's gone. I'm running against time!"

March 1,2002
"Dear Diary,
Ok! So one more day to go. Hope I keep writing this diary even after today. I'm gearing up for the ultimate challenge I have faced upto now. All the 11 years of my school life have come down to this. Its either now or never. And thinking about how I'm gonna look in a crowd of thousands taking up this exams, everyone at the centre is gonna make fun at me. Hah! But one day I'll have my revenge. Lets see who's gonna have the last laugh"

And so ended my short stint at diary writing. Against what I had hoped, I never made another entry into the damn thing. And after reading this piece of shit I used to call a diary, I hope I never will. "Hope" never goes your way!!

My 10 Day Diary - I

Today, i stumbled upon a document from history. Well not thaaatt old, but 3.5 yrs ago feels like soooo looonngg ago. Anyways, this document of mine was the first ever diary I wrote. Sounds stupid n girlish but hey, if Doogie Howser could do it, why not me?

Upon recovering this diary from the past, I flipped through the pages to see how many days I actually wrote something. Turned out to be 10. And those 10 days were the ones leading upto the class 12 board exams. On reading it (extremely funny in retrospect) I came to this conclusion. I was a perverted-spoilt-impolite-17-year-old-porn-maniac who couldn't maintain a decent diary for nuts. I emphasize on the word "was" in theprevious line.

So here go those precious lines from my ten day diary.

P.S : some of the language you are about to read is banned in many countries. Eg. India
P.S 2 : Keep in mind my perceptions have CHANGED a lot in the last 3.5 yrs

Feb 19,2002
"Dear Diary,

At last I have started to write a diary. I hope to continue to write it everyday. Anyways, lets see, just 10 more days for my exams to begin. Its going to be a heck of a journey.

I keep getting these dreams now and then. Mainly about girls. But in particular S. Dont know what's happening to me. There is also this weird dream I had of being carried by many people after my first movie became a superhit. Well, If I do become a superstar, I will preserve this diary to show the world. I tried accessing hacking sites again. I've become addicted I think or is just the thought of destroying someone else' personal info. I really dont know."

Feb 20,2002
"Dear Diary,

Strange things happened today. I can't get the pics out of my mind. The ones I saw from the site. I'm not able to control myself from seeing those pics. Always reminded me of S. I know she will never be my girlfriend but I guess these are just teenage crushes I'll never forget.

I'm still waiting for the woman of my life. Guess its a long way to go. What difference does a girl make in a man's life? Just one of the questions still left unanswered"

Feb 21,2002
"Dear Diary,

Tommorow is a big day. If at all I do get to meet the girls, GOD please give me the courage to not stray with my thoughts. After all which girl would like me? Just a big fat nosey parker. Who would I influence? I dont think I deserve to attend a farewell party where friends get emotional. Some friends I will miss all my life. Others I wish I forget them as soon as I can.

Assholes like D,P and M will one day hear from me. I hope I become somebody in my lifetime than being a nobody. There is a dream. One day one will go to his highest spirits that success will start becoming bitter to him!"

Little did I know that the "highest spirits" ,later on in my life, could be quantified and come in fancy bottles!!

To be continued

This one's BIG

I recently came across a news story that the Notorious B.I.G and Bob Marley are being revived in a new track called "Hold ya Hand". Clinton Sparks, the famous producer DJ is creating the music for this song and is being planned as a release in the Duets album of B.I.G dropping end november.

Now what amazed me was a small thing called technology which plays a big part in bringing two legends of two genres of music together posthumously. The archives of Biggie's classic verses along with Marley's samples are going to be one for the record books. Matter of fact, Tupac Shakur has sold more records after he died. Most of his unreleased studio work (a quick search on google will tell ya some 20000 songs) are being released slowly.

The brains behind these posthumous releases is one smart fella turned producer turned rapper turned gangster turned actor called P.Diddy a.k.a Puff Daddy. I remember reading thro stuff on how Diddy might have played a role in the murder of B.I.G after he saw the sympathy behind Shakur's murder. Now he knows how to make money!!!

If u feelin bored n want to read some great stories that actually happened in the rap world, the biggest ever in fact, go thro these pages. Really gives you the chill.

But I do agree with one of the lines P.Diddy said in his "Victory" song though,
"You dont have to like me, coz i tell it how it is and u tell it how it might be"

Guess who's back

Ok...I know its been a long time.. but i'm back..

After a brief hibernation from the blogging world, I've made my grand return. Its the time to roll the red carpet and make monkeys dance. Contrary to the belief that I got busy in life n all, I have pretty much been jobless. Listening to rap as usual. Reading up why George "Dubya" made the white house make a tele movie about his dog. And of course getting updates on the latest happenings in filmdom.

The last week has seen a lot of shit happening in the world. The Kashmir quake, Australia winning the super series and the Chinese taking to space. Apparently the Chinese version of Astronauts are going to be called "Taikonauts". Basically i think that means "take-ur-nuts". Seems China bought all the space suits from Russia and modified Soyuz to their "made in China" spacecraft. There goes another field where we can say "Yay! India is more superior".

Coming back to the Australia winning super series. How do you expect a team full of guys who maybe meeting for the first time in their life to go win a team who've been kicked in the groin and are dying to redeem themselves. Its like a team of ranji players picked from various cities to take on the Indian Team and expected to win hands down (although i wont be surprised if that happens).

And for the Pak Quake, they want the helicopters from India but not the pilots. Great. So the ISI can transport Bin Laden back to afghanistan or wat? By the way, the reason I'm writing in the reverse order of events i mentioned is the influence of a movie called "Memento"( apparently Gajini's original). The whole movie starts from the climax n ends with the begining. Still don't have a clue what the whole movie was about.

More madness and ramblings to follow as my epic journey of life moves on. Today i say "Life's a bitch". Tommorow i may be quoted as the one who said "Before the Internet, I should either be a celebrity or be dead to have my say, but now, its payback time maaaannn!!!" Long live Blogging. Long live the dumb intelligent people reading this.