Recently I came across an interesting news story. A man sued a Furniture Store because coz he got glued to the toilet when he used their restroom. MAN!!! Then it struck me. The whole Indian Penal System sucks when it comes to suing other people. I got this brainwave where I will start suing companies which will shut me up for the negative press.
Now, coming to the list of people. The first one which comes to my mind is Microsoft. I use a perfectly illegal copy of Windows. But exactly before my exams , it crashes and I end up reinstalling the whole thing. So I waste a lot of productive time I could have otherwise used to study. On counts of "bad quality","obstruction of work", I'll sue those b******s. Windows must be made 100% crash proof or taken off the shelf.
Second on my list would be news channels like NDTV & Headlines Today. Every news story that they come up with is classified as "breaking news". Even when a report of a donkey born with 4 heads is shown, its called "breaking news"..
Next on the list of people to sue. Anna University. I've been thro close to four years of their "Bachelor of Engineering : Computer Science". I have not acquired any skills to call myself an engineer. I haven't been allowed to engineer anything. All my money was put into financing the Alcohol expenses of my college chairman. I am not suing the college coz I feel happy they've just they not curbed my freedom unlike Sathyabama. As some professor idiot on TV says "Its all about the system". So Anna University, coz of u, I have become a worthless engineer. On counts of "institutional breakdown","rampant malpractice","no research or engineering work encouraged" and "bad quality of education" I will be a richer man.
Other people on the list include:
1) Hutch - poor quality of signal in my loo. can't send msges while eh...lets skip that. just poor quality of signal.
2) BSNL - a$$*0Ies told me its 2-8am free downloads. I get charged if I connect before 2 and go on. I have to disconnect after 2 and reconnect for it to be free
3) ITC India - they own 87% of tobacco products in India. Yet they sell cigis at different rates. They must streamline cigis and bring them to same rate. No more discrimination
4) Indian Penal Code - bcoz the number of cases I file will reach a judgement 50 years from now. So If I sue them, there will be lots of public interest and within a year, I'll be a richer man.
Bottomline, I'M GONNA BE RICH..............AND FAMOUS
Now, coming to the list of people. The first one which comes to my mind is Microsoft. I use a perfectly illegal copy of Windows. But exactly before my exams , it crashes and I end up reinstalling the whole thing. So I waste a lot of productive time I could have otherwise used to study. On counts of "bad quality","obstruction of work", I'll sue those b******s. Windows must be made 100% crash proof or taken off the shelf.
Second on my list would be news channels like NDTV & Headlines Today. Every news story that they come up with is classified as "breaking news". Even when a report of a donkey born with 4 heads is shown, its called "breaking news"..
"Yes Vikram....I'm completely amazed that a donkey has been successfully born with 4 heads. It looks very awkward and is attracting a lot of people to Periyapatti. The entire village is shocked...They have never seen this before"Of course the Indian public idiots watch such trash. Only numbskulls like the reporter will go all the way to capture this on camera. Who cares if a donkey with 4 heads or 4 d... eh..ok..bottomline WE DONT CALL THIS S**T BREAKING NEWS. And other news like when somebody is greiving the loss of a loved one, they put a mic in their face and ask them "How do u feel?" What kind of a f***ing answer do they expect? "I'm feeling great."? I'm gonna sue them on account of "anxiety attacks due to graphic images shown","instilling fear by showing blood and gore in the name of journalism while covering bomb attacks". No more blood on News Channels. Period. Leave that to the movies.
Next on the list of people to sue. Anna University. I've been thro close to four years of their "Bachelor of Engineering : Computer Science". I have not acquired any skills to call myself an engineer. I haven't been allowed to engineer anything. All my money was put into financing the Alcohol expenses of my college chairman. I am not suing the college coz I feel happy they've just they not curbed my freedom unlike Sathyabama. As some professor idiot on TV says "Its all about the system". So Anna University, coz of u, I have become a worthless engineer. On counts of "institutional breakdown","rampant malpractice","no research or engineering work encouraged" and "bad quality of education" I will be a richer man.
Other people on the list include:
1) Hutch - poor quality of signal in my loo. can't send msges while eh...lets skip that. just poor quality of signal.
2) BSNL - a$$*0Ies told me its 2-8am free downloads. I get charged if I connect before 2 and go on. I have to disconnect after 2 and reconnect for it to be free
3) ITC India - they own 87% of tobacco products in India. Yet they sell cigis at different rates. They must streamline cigis and bring them to same rate. No more discrimination
4) Indian Penal Code - bcoz the number of cases I file will reach a judgement 50 years from now. So If I sue them, there will be lots of public interest and within a year, I'll be a richer man.
Bottomline, I'M GONNA BE RICH..............AND FAMOUS
Hope u dont sue the shop next to JP for not lettin u have an account there. nice post man
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteAnd sue colgate palmolive too. And teh National Health Service fo teh UK
Cuz today at the pharmacist, I saw a tootbrush marked at £1.99, when the toothbrush label clearly said 'Made in India. M.R.P: Rs. 10 only)
This is a flagrant violation of Consumer Rights, and must be booked under the Monopolies and Restrictive Trade Practices Act, Foreign Exchange Regulation Act, and POTA (for good measure) ;)
Nice blog dude. I am sure all of this post was meant in jest. But just a few counter arguments for fun.
ReplyDelete1. Whenever you install Windows you agree to the EULA - the End User License Agreement - the text of which is in EULA.txt in your Windows\system32 folder where it clearly states that you cannot sue them for any software defects. It's an interesting read. Check out clause 11 particularly.
2. The media is like that because taht is exactly what the public want and are watching these days. Check out any channel in any country and you will find plenty of such brain damages. Exceptions are few, like the BBC which donot primarily rely on advertising revenues.
sid,
ReplyDeletei'll take note of that.
shakuni,
it was meant in jest. i dont have the time or money to pursue even 1 lawsuit against MS. n abt the media, they really need to do some soul searching. ratings n ad-revenue should interfere with journalism. atleast that's wat i think.
in prev comment, correction there..ratings n ad-revenue should NOT interfere with jounalism..was sooo sleepy dat i wasnt really lookin at the keys..sorry for the typo..
ReplyDelete